You’re not as bad as you think

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il_340x270.496335635_3h4jThink with me as I transition a 4th of July experience into our work as adults (whether at home or at school) working for kids.

Fourth of July weekend was a great opportunity to unplug, spend time with family and friends, introduce our son to the annual fireworks show and enjoy our favorite backyard game – “bags” (depending on where you live, you may call it Bags, Baggo or Cornhole). When explaining the game to new players, I often use the term “21st Century horseshoes” without the need for a divot tool or new sod for your lawn. I started playing bags when I lived in Chicago in the early 2000s at a Bears’ tailgate, and have been hooked ever since.

After 14 years of playing this social game during BBQs, family gatherings and tailgates, you start to identify yourself into the category of a “veteran player” meaning you’ve got a good deal of experience playing, have a personal style of toss and come to expect a certain level of play from yourself vs. close friends, family members, and in my case – my father-in-law.

So as the title of this post might hint at, my father-in-law beat me five full games (up to 21 points each) in a row on July 4th. And he didn’t just beat me, he won handedly every game, and left me feeling like I had forgotten how to play the social game I’ve come to love. Over the next 24 hours he made a bunch of playful jokes at my expense which, of course I expected from him.


Taking off the bean-bag playing lens and putting on an students, educator, parent lens – we all (now matter how much experience and expertise we have) have days where we lose 5 games in a row in our own right. Maybe a conversation didn’t go the way we had hoped. Maybe we failed to articulate in a way that was easy for another to understand. Maybe a lesson fell flat on its face. Maybe we forgot to pick our kids up from an event! Regardless of what it was, disappointment happens daily as a part of life. We are human beings, and now matter how hard we try, we’re bound to miss the mark at times. However, we have a responsibility to ourselves and to today’s youth to set our sights on honing our skills by working not only harder but smarter, facing our fears and trying new things even if for the first time. We as adults are role models, whether we assume the role formally (as a teacher/parent or not), someone is always watching, learning, planning, mimicking based on how we respond to adversity. In making the time to reflect on our successes and shortcomings daily, we can hit the reset button and face our challenges in new ways. In this world, adults need to understand, embrace and model resilience for today’s youth.


The next day, on Saturday, July 5, 2014, I got the bean bags and boxes back out. I set them up, asked my father-in-law to play me again and we got to it. Two hours later, I had completely turned the tables, and beat him six times in a row, which immediately got me thinking deeper about this experience. I wasn’t as bad as I thought I was. This thought was not just about bean bags, but of a constant spirit to be better at what I do from one day to the next.

Below are 5 considerations (not excuses) on why we’re not as bad as we think:

  1. Each day brings different variables (We must take into account sleep, events, exercise, season, weather etc)
  2. Level of experience with task (First timer, veteran, knowing audience)
  3. State of yourself (YOU are constantly changing, interpersonally, coming to grips with your own emotional intelligence)
  4. Policy changes (Every year policies changes in some way. How we embrace/combat them affects our work in navigating our challenges)
  5. Who are your role models? (Who inspires you daily? Who do you find yourself hanging out with when you have time to yourself? Do you find yourself with positive peers or negaholics? What do I know about these people? Have I shared enough of myself to truly know these people and have them know me?) This fifth idea has been an evolving one for me. Just recently, I’ve begun learning from 100 new people around the world during #ptcamp using Voxer, Twitter, blogs and ApprenNet. This experience has gotten me out of my comfort zone, and has opened the doors for me to learn more about a topic I am passionate about from others with unique and important perspectives in supporting my growth. Refreshing the people I learn from daily is very important to me, and ensures the perspectives I need to grow will continue to evolve around me.

There are certainly more variables than the five I have listed. I encourage you to think about times during your life and career that you fell flat on your face. How did you approach it? How helped you? What did you learn about yourself during the experience? Please comment below on where this idea tok you.

 

 

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